Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.
Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
Chuck Norris can power solar panels. At Night.
Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
Chuck Norris can strike the same lightning twice.
If Chuck Norris was in a video game it would be called Immortal Kombat.
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.