Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
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Chuck Norris wears boots to protect the Earth from his feet.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use his hand to catch bullets, he uses his mind.
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Three seconds after Chuck Norris was shot, the bullet came out screaming.
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Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?"
He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get bigger.
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Chuck Norris has no need to walk.
The universe simply moves around him.
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Chuck Norris's black belt was made in a black hole.
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Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
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When Chuck Norris was 5 he threw a paper airplane.
It landed yesterday.
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