Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
When Chuck Norris' dreams come true, your worst nightmares begin.
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris finished the Never Ending Story.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Chuck Norris uses flatbed trailers as roller skates.
Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.