Chuck Norris can make a rock grow.
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Everytime a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked.
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Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
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Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
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Chuck Norris does not own a house.
He walks into random houses and people move.
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
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Chuck Norris can play volleyball with a bowlingball.
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Chuck Norris rubs two pieces of fire together to make wood.
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When Chuck Norris' dreams come true, your worst nightmares begin.
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