Chuck Norris can make a rock grow.
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On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
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Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals.
Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
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Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
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How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia?
2 months...
How does he get there?
He walks.
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Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
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Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.
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Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.
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When Chuck Norris puts toast in the toaster it comes out bread.
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The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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