Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
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Water holds its breath when Chuck Norris is in below the surface.
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hen Chuck Norris goes fishing he stands at the edge of the water and says: "Don`t make me go in there to get you".
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
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Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out.
No one dared to move.
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Superman is weakened when exposed to Kryptonite.
Chuck Norris eats Kryptonite for breakfast without even a belch.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of bullets, bullets run out of Norrises.
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Chuck Norris can lie honestly.
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Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
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Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
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