Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
Do you know why babys cry when they are born? Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
Chuck Norris' guitar amp goes up to 12.
Chuck Norris inhales carbon monoxide and exhales oxygen.
Jurrasic Park is a second name for Chuck Norris' backyard.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ESC key on his computer, no one ever escapes.
Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
If you are stuck on a test and you don't know the answer to a question, write in Chuck Norris. The answer is always Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.