Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
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Chuck Norris climbed the stairway to heaven, and came back down again.
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Evolution's driving mechanism is nature's desperate attempt to escape Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris eats rainbows to taste the Skittles.
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In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
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Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest.
Chuck Norris won by 5.
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In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.
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The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
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Chuck Norris flew boats in the Vietnam War.
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Those who ignore history, are doomed by Chuck Norris.
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