Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
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The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
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Give Chuck Norris a piece of coal and he'll give you back a diamond.
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People say that time heals all wounds.
They obviously never got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
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Chuck Norris can skip a track on a cassette.
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Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
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Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
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Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks.
They fold under pressure.
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