The reason everything is better in Texas is because Chuck Norris said so.
Chuck Norris' keyboad has no delete key. Chuck Norris never makes a mistake!
Chuck Norris can drink from an empty cup.
The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
The actual definition of U.F.O is Chuck Norris's Toy Frisbee.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.