The reason everything is better in Texas is because Chuck Norris said so.
If Chuck Norris were president, he would protect the secret service.
Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
Thomas Edson made a shadow on a paper that Chuck Norris was reading, then Thomas Edson decided to create the electric light.
Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
The entire movie of "Anaconda" was recorded inside Chuck Norris' pants.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.