The reason everything is better in Texas is because Chuck Norris said so.
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When the metal detector goes off at the airport, it is just verifying Chuck Norris walked through.
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That recent tsunami was caused when Chuck Norris dropped a pebble into the ocean.
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Crop Circles are Chuck Norris's preschool art projects.
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Chuck Norris was once shot.
The bullet died.
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Chuck Norris got a homerun in bowling.
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Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At night.
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If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn...
Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!
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April doesn't fool Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris fools April.
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The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
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Do you know why God is called "God"?
Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
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