Chuck Norris can run a nuclear power station using a rowing machine.
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Chuck Norris is the only person that can deliver a roundhouse kick in full 1080p, remember that the next time you watch Walker Texas Ranger in Blu-Ray.
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The reason everything is better in Texas is because Chuck Norris said so.
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Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.
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Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris jumped off a building once.
The ground didn't make it.
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Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
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If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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