If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.
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Chuck Norris leaves messages before the beep.
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Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler.
With him inside it.
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James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator.
However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
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We'll want to preserve Chuck Norris for future generations, when he dies.
We won't be needing cryogenics cos Chuck's already frozen.
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When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
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Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
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Chuck Norris took a nap.
The result was the Great Depression.
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When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
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