Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF!
Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
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Guns need a licence to bear Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague.
The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
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Right angles used to be called wrong angles until Chuck said, "I don't see anything wrong with them."
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Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
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Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris fell off a building, he got sued for breaking the sidewalk with his fists.
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Bigfoot thinks Chuck Norris is a myth
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Earth is not spinning around the sun.
The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
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