Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF!
Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
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Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.
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A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
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The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it.
Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
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The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
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Bigfoot thinks Chuck Norris is a myth
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Chuck Norris once leaned on the Tower of Pisa...
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Chuck Norris adds Facebook as a friend.
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Ed and Lorraine Warren have the doll Anabelle locked in a glass case in their basement, a priest comes there every week to whisper Chuck Norris's name in its ear.
The doll locked itself in the case upon first hearing the name.
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