The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
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Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
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The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
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To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
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Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
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Chuck Norris can listen to 24 hours worth of music and not move a single muscle.
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Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
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Chuck Norris jumped off a building once.
The ground didn't make it.
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Aliens believe in Chuck Norris.
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The cake is a lie, Chuck Norris is THE TRUTH.
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Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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