You know the movie, Alien VS Predator?
Well it used to be called Alien VS Predator VS Chuck Norris, but no body would pay to see a fight 7 seconds long.
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Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
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Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.
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Do you know why the Earth's spinning ?
Because Chuck Norris is running on it.
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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris' glare will liquify your kidney.
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Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel.
Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
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When you die on Earth you go to hell.
When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
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