You know the movie, Alien VS Predator?
Well it used to be called Alien VS Predator VS Chuck Norris, but no body would pay to see a fight 7 seconds long.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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Chuck Norris found Nemo with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Chuck Norris can sit in the shade...in an open field.
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Jason Bourne is Chuck Norris' daughter...
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Dear Chuck Norris,
Could you please close the door of your refrigerator.
Thank you,
Europe
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Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
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Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
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Before they met Chuck Norris, the Black Eyed Peas were simply known as "The Peas."
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Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
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