Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon with a Nokia 3310.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer.
Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
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Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
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Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
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Chuck Norris can "make it rain in Southern California".
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Chuck Norris's wish isn't your command, Chuck Norris's command is your wish...
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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books.
The words assemble themselves out of fear.
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At museums Chuck Norris is allowed to touch the art.
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Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
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When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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