Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon with a Nokia 3310.
When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
Freds voice is high because Chuck Norris kicked him in the nuts.
Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once saw Spiderman on a wall and then folded his newspaper.
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared. These are known as black holes.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.