Chuck Norris doesn't have a will. Invincible people don't need them.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Chuck Norris is the only one who has a silver goldfish.
Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
What occurs twice in The Beginning, never in The End, but is at The End of Everything? Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris was a spartan the movie would be called "1".
The energizer bunny freezes when it sees Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Water needs safety arm bands when swimming with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can stare you to death while looking the other direction!
Trains stop at Chuck Norris crossings.