Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
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Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
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What time is it when Chuck Norris knocks on your door?
Too Late!
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For every victim of a Chuck Norris round house kick, there is a star.
As you can see, there are a lot.
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Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
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The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
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Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
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Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday.
Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
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Chuck Norris got a flame and froze it.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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The AC/DC song "Highway to Hell" is about Chuck Norris' driveway.
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