Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
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Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
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Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.
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Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
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Chuck Norris is so fast, he can startle his own reflection.
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When a mime sees Chuck Norris, he makes a glass wall and pretends he's dead.
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Tungsten steel was discovered in Chuck Norris' DNA.
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When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
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Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
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Q: You know the Roman Empire, well how do you think it fell?
A: Chuck Norris
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With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
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