Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion? Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
The sun is Chuck Norris's pocket flashlight.
Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Hiroshima nagasaki was nothing but the result of chuck norris skydiving in Japan.
Chuck Norris sleeps with his gun over his pillow.
Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.
The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.