Before America can declare war, congress has to ask Chuck Norris.
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Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
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Chuck Norris knows who's buried in Grant's Tomb.
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Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made of real cowboys.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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If you see the Blue Screen of Death on your laptop... it's because Chuck Norris found out you were reading Chuck Norris jokes.
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Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.
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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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When you google up Chuck Norris, he googles you back for revenge.
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Chuck norris once ate a rubix cube and pooped it out solved.
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