Before America can declare war, congress has to ask Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris actually went to Rome by all roads. At the same time.
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If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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Chuck Norris can headbutt himself in the face.
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Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
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Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph.
Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.
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Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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Chuck Norris stem cells can reproduce missing limbs.
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Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat yours too.
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