Q: What is a sheep's favorite sport? A: Baaasket baaall!
Whats the difference between usain bolt and hitler? Usain bolt can finish a race...
Alex was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen. One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the TV. "Hey," Alex shouted, "what do you think you are doing?" "I’m sick of sports, I’m sick of TV," she replied. "You haven’t touched me in months. We’re going to talk about sex right now!" "OK, OK. So," he asked after a moment, "how often do you think Brett Favre gets laid?"
"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
Guy: "You see doc, the problem is obesity runs in the family." Doctor: "No, the problem is no one runs in your family."
An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging.
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.
I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"
One day Stan comes home from a hard day at work. He sees his wife bending down to clean the floor under the sofa. So Stan goes over to his wife and starts fucking her from behind. After he finishes, he gives her a hard smack to the head. His wife yells, ''What was that for!?'' To which Stan replies, ''That's for not checking to see who it was.''