I'd have a comeback for that, but all my come's backed up in your throat.
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A little old man who's hard of hearing goes to see the doctor. As he can't hear very well, he takes his wife with him.
The doctor examines the man and then says, "Hmm, I think we need to take a stool sample, a urine sample and a sperm sample."
The old man turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?"
The wife replies, "He said he wants your underwear."
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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"?
"firetruck"! What were you thinking?
What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"?
"popcorn"! What were you thinking?!
Susan's mother: "What are you doing on the top of that tree?"
Susan: "Some boys are playing football their ball is fallen on the tree.
They asked me to bring it."
Susan's mother: "My dear , they only want to chech your pants."
Susan: "Don't worry mam, I hav'nt put on my pants!"
How do you make a snooker table laugh.
Put your hands in its pocket and tickle its balls.
Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.
I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade.
Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...
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Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
Two men were shipwrecked on an island.
They decided to venture inland to see if they could find someone.
The men came across a village in the middle of a jungle, immediately they were surrounded by a tribe of islanders.
The chief walks to the men and says, "What do you choose, Death or Boogaloo?"
The first man thinks for a second and replies, "I choose Boogaloo".
The chief smiles and the tribe begins to chant "boogaloo, boogaloo, boogaloo".
The chief takes the man, bends him over and f**ks him up.
The second man is horrified at what he has just witnessed and then the chief walks up to him and asks, "You must choose, Death or Boogaloo?"
The man thinks he would rather die than have boogaloo, so he replies, "I choose death."
The tribe roars in ecstasy and the chief yells, "Death by boogaloo!!!"
Q: What's a blonde's favorite drink
A: A cocktail.
"Mr. Ben, I am asking for your daughter's hand."
"Why? I don't get it, don't you have a hand?"
"I do sir, but I'm sick and tired with my own hand sir!"
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