What is grosser than gross? When you're kissing Grandma and she slips you the tongue.
Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit? A: The best ones squirt when you eat them.
A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital. "How's the food there?" asks the hooker. "Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"
How do you make stew out of a leper? Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.
Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.
Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job? A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob. On the wall? Art. On the floor? Matt.
Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't? A: A belly button between her boobs.
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes? A: The guy who gave it to him.
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.