If, by some incredible space-time parodox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
Chuck Norris can smell sound and hear touch.
Chuck Norris can play volleyball with a bowlingball.
Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
Chuck Norris was the reason the Titanic sank. The iceberg was just a cover-up.
Chuck Norris pitties Mr. T.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
When Chuck Norris steps on a crack he breaks another persons mother's back.