Two things in life are certain: Death and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
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Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver.
When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
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Even though Chuck Norris' lives in Dallas, Texas, his house still has spectacular views of both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
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If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
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Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris won the Boston marathon in New York.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed.
She is now known as Britney Spears.
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Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009.
His state flower will be the Magnolia.
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Chuck Norris was a pokemon card, until they took it out of the market cause the Chuck Norris card was level infinity.
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