Two things in life are certain: Death and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
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Beetlejuice is afraid to say Chuck Norris 3 times.
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The Highlander movie was actually based on Chuck Norris's life.
There can be only one.
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Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens.
And dies.
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Chuck Norris CAN have it both ways.
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Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
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When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
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Chuck Norris can play Bach's 9th Symphony with a triangle.
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Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris.
Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
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