Two things in life are certain: Death and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
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Chuck Norris can "make it rain in Southern California".
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You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with his gun over his pillow.
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Chuck Norris wins Clue in one guess.
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Whenever Chuck Norris rolls a 6 sided dice, he always rolls a 7.
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Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
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Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out.
No one dared to move.
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There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
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Chuck Norris eats rainbows to taste the Skittles.
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