Two things in life are certain: Death and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
Chuck Norris doesent need a postage stamp... He just tells the letter where to go and it gets there.
Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
Chuck Norris is the only one that can turn lemonade into lemons.
When Chuck lit a match earth saw the sun for the first time!
When Columbus discovered America, Chuck Norris has already worked there as Texas ranger.
Chuck Norris doesn't do steroids, steroids do Chuck Norris.
Barcelona beats every team in the world, Chuck Norris can beat Barcelona... by himself.
Chuck Norris can access the internet from a walkie talkie.