Two things in life are certain: Death and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, they take a number.
If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.
Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as he who shall not be named.
Chuck Norris can actually describe the taste of purified water.
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he sucked on a pacifier and made it cry.
When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
Chuck Norris acting contracts are if the movie producer want Chuck Norris to act in his movie, the producer is roundhouse kicked.