Chuck Norris can find the end of a circle.
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Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
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Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
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Chuck Norris won a game of chess with checker pieces.
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Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets;
he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
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Once Chuck Norris rubbed a magical lamp, nothing came out.
The genie ain't stupid.
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Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.
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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
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If Chuck Norris were president, he would protect the secret service.
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Chuck Norris once won a staredown over a walkie talkie.
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Chuck Norris is in every action film ever made but sometimes he only shows up as EXPLOSIONS.
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