Chuck Norris can find the end of a circle.
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When Chuck Norris' dreams come true, your worst nightmares begin.
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Chuck Norris can say never.
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Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
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Chuck Norris does not need a remote for his tv for all he needs to do is just stare until it turns on.
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The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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If you see the Blue Screen of Death on your laptop... it's because Chuck Norris found out you were reading Chuck Norris jokes.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer.
You will score a 1600.
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A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.
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Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009.
His state flower will be the Magnolia.
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