Chuck Norris is so fast, he can startle his own reflection.
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Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much.
Chuck Norris throws down!
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Chuck Norris found the stairway to heaven, but he prefers the elevator.
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We live in an expanding universe.
All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
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He, who laughs last, laughs best.
He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.
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Chuck Norris created the World Wide Web using a typewriter.
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Chuck Norris can throw a house through a window.
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Before America can declare war, congress has to ask Chuck Norris.
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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Chuck Norris is the only man who can put M&M's in alphabetical order.
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Chuck Norris really can get chicken from a tuna can.
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