Chuck Norris is so fast, he can startle his own reflection.
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PlayStation network was never hacked.
Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.
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Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
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Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row.
The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible.
He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense.
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Chuck Norris created the World Wide Web using a typewriter.
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Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
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The square root of Pain is Chuck Norris.
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In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris.
The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
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In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size.
When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
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