Chuck Norris is so fast, he can startle his own reflection.
Why did we have a global recession? Because Chuck Norris asked "Whats a global Recession?"
Every phobia known to man has a phobia of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving. He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
They say that "You can't cheat Death", but Chuck Norris can beat it fairly.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
Chuck Norris thought 24 was a sit-com.