Chuck Norris is so fast, he can startle his own reflection.
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When Bell invented the telephone, there were already three Chuck Noris missed
calls.
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Jason Bourne is Chuck Norris' daughter...
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Chuck Norris CAN leave Hotel California.
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Chuck Norris once planted a box of Cheerios in his yard, the result was a donut tree.
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Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.
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Spider-man can crawl on walls and ceilings, Chuck Norris can crawl on water.
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Chuck Norris can play Pokemon Go on his landline.
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Yoda used to be 6 feet tall till he tried that Force crap on Chuck Norris.
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As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer.
He gave the world Stonehenge.
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Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.
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