If Chuck Norris were a toy, you wouldn't play with him, he'll play with you.
Many years ago Chuck Norris and a brown bear had a fight. The loser had to go live in the north pole.
Do you know why God is called "God"? Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score a 1600.
The phrase "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" was actually first coined by Chuck Norris when he came out of the womb.
Wanna know how Chuck Norris grew his beard? He didn't, his beard grew him.
Chuck Norris can stare you to death while looking the other direction!
Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
Chuck Norris can turn toast back into bread.