If Chuck Norris were a toy, you wouldn't play with him, he'll play with you.
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Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday.
Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
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The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea.
Until it met Chuck Norris.
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There were 3 people on a boat, Chuck Norris, Jesus, and the Penelope, Jesus said
"I bet I can walk across the water."
He did, Chuck Norris tried, he did, the Penelope said
"They did it that means I do it." ,
He tried, he sank, Jesus said: "Should I have told him about the rocks?"
Chuck Norris said "What rocks?"
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When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
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Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one.
When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face.
We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
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Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
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Chuck Norris fires Donald Trump.
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Chuch Norris doesn't make threats, he makes promises.
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Chuck Norris abducts aliens.
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Chuck Norris' pager is still cool.
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