If Chuck Norris were a toy, you wouldn't play with him, he'll play with you.
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AIDS Can't Kill Chuck Norris.
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UV rays are caused by Chuck Norris' smiles.
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If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor.
Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
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Chuck Norris hates Raymond.
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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Chuck Norris can copy and paste on a typewriter.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to make a cameo appearence in "Full House" but he was let off because he wanted to rename the show "Roundhouse."
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Jokes about Chuck Norris are not funny, but all are afraid not to laugh.
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Chuck Norris knows what pi tastes like.
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Dante's Inferno is based on a Nature Walk Chuck Norris once took.
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