The Twilight Zone enters the Chuck Norris Zone.
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Scissors are told not to run with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
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Chuck Norris once dropped a glass vase onto the floor.
The glass apologized for breaking in his presence.
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Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
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Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
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Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009.
His state flower will be the Magnolia.
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Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one".
Wrong.
Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
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Motley Crue released a new song called "Roundhouse Kickstart My Heart" dedicated to Chuck Norris.
It will be number one in the top 40 forever.
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When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
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