Chuck Norris can turn carbon paper into diamonds.
Chuck Norris has only played Pacman twice, and beat the game both times. The ghosts were too afraid to leave their little box to try to stop him.
Chuck Norris has nicknames for his feet... Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
When you come to a road that says "ONE WAY", that mean Chuck Norris is the other way.
Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
Chuck Norris doesn't cry. His eyes sweat.
Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.