Chuck Norris can turn carbon paper into diamonds.
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Chuck Norris found the Hidden Valley Ranch.
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When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
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The actual definition of U.F.O is Chuck Norris's Toy Frisbee.
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Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
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China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
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Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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Chuck Norris fell down the stairs and broke somebody elses leg.
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Cavemen didn't invent fire Chuck Norris mearly clicked his fingers and gave it to them.
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Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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