Chuck Norris can turn carbon paper into diamonds.
Cement took a teaspoon of Chuck Norris to harden up!
Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
The reason Tom Cruise runs in all his movies is because he's running the hell away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car he walks.
Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.