Chuck Norris can turn carbon paper into diamonds.
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Cement took a teaspoon of Chuck Norris to harden up!
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Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
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When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
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There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer.
Chuck Norris is always in control.
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The reason Tom Cruise runs in all his movies is because he's running the hell away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car he walks.
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Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can travel a negative distance.
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