Joke #8514

Chuck Norris can turn carbon paper into diamonds.
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Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
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Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
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Before his rise to fame, Jaws was Chuck Norris's goldfish.
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He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
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The earth is rotating because Chuck Norris is breathing.
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Chuck Norris once planted a box of Cheerios in his yard, the result was a donut tree.
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The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun. The Earth is stationary. The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
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Chuck Norris once shot someone with a knife.
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Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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