Chuck Norris can turn carbon paper into diamonds.
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Chuck Norris can whistle in five different languages, including sign language.
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In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay.
Big mistake.
You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an ESC key on his computer, no one ever escapes.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam.
Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
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Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
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The Beatles originally sang "All you need is Chuck Norris".
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Rome wasn't built in a day because they didn't ask Chuck Norris for help.
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The Titanic sunk because Chuck Norris ran into it during his swim.
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Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids.
The results came back positive.
When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
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