Chuck Norris doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he has the dos equis guy serve it to him in a dress.
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If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
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Chuck Norris doesn't even have to bid in an auction to win it.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Einstein's theory of relativity is still a theory.
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Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom.
Because he never f*cks up.
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Chuck Norris can blow up things, without a bomb.
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He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.
He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris is in every action film ever made but sometimes he only shows up as EXPLOSIONS.
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Chuck Norris runs until the Treadmill gets tired.
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When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
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Crop Circles are Chuck Norris's preschool art projects.
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