Chuck Norris doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he has the dos equis guy serve it to him in a dress.
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When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
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Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris."
Then his reflection cried and walked away.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear a wristwatch.
He always knows when it's time to kick some ass.
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The president of the USA lives in the White House.
Chuck Norris lives in the Roundhouse.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
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Guns can kill, Chuck Norris does!
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There are no comets.
Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
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30 lumberjacks once tried to cut off Chuck Norris's beard...
They were never seen again.
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