Chuck Norris doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he has the dos equis guy serve it to him in a dress.
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When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
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Chuck Norris protects his airbag in an accident.
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Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
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Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
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Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
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The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.
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Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
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Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president.
If you’re thinking to yourself, “But Chuck Norris isn’t black”, then you are dead wrong.
And stop being a racist.
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When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
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