Chuck norris can throw a rock at you... looking the other way.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
The Grimm Reaper lost his job the day Chuck Norris was born.
In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your ass.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Mortal Kombat was originally called 'Ways Chuck Norris Can Kill You'.
Chuck Norris became a firefighter, after hearing of his decision fire ceased to be an element.
Chuck Norris has no need for a TV remote. He stares at his television, until it changes the channel.
Facebook hides it's privacy from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can scratch sandpaper.