Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
All wars stopped when Chuck Norris said, "Can I apply for the army?"
Chuck Norris Streams Netflix on his VCR.
When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
In an attempt to end WWII, President Harry Truman had Chuck Norris parachuted into Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Sept. 2, 1945, the Japanese surrendered.
In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to sing "We are the Champions". He has no time for losers. He will rock you.
Chuck Norris can skydive into outer space.
Once, Chuck Norris told Nike to "just do it..." and it did.