Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
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Chuck Norris is the only man who can put M&M's in alphabetical order.
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It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.
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Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
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In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris.
The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
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When Chuck Norris' dreams come true, your worst nightmares begin.
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When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
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