Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
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The party only starts when Chuck Norris walks in.
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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Yo mamma so ugly she scares Chuck Norris!
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Chuck Norris gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
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The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake was when he thought he made a mistake
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Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
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Light just wishes it was a fast as one of Chuck's fists.
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The creation of a perfect sphere became possible after Chuck Norris became enraged with a rubix cube and roundhouse kicked the corners off it.
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Chuck Norris can play Bach's 9th Symphony with a triangle.
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