Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF! Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound. Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
Chuck Norris met an exclamation point and punched it in the face. We now have questions.
Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris were to ever bungee jump, the earth would flinch.
Chuck Norris can flip a coin and make it land on both sides at the same time.