Chuck Norris thought 24 was a sit-com.
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Nice guys finish last because bad guys run faster from Chuck Norris.
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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.
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Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
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Chuck norris can kick you in the back of your face.
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Chuck Norris is spelled with a silent "awesome".
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Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
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Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light.
He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
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Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
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Chuck Norris jumped off a building once.
The ground didn't make it.
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