Chuck Norris thought 24 was a sit-com.
When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
Chuck Norris is in every action film ever made but sometimes he only shows up as EXPLOSIONS.
Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.
The earth doesn't revolve around the sun. It's the sun that revolves around Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk. He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over." Those children were the dinosaurs.
Time travel is possible. But you must first get past Chuck Norris...
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.