Joke #3408

Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They won't stop to ask directions!
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: men

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How to Impress a Woman: compliment her, kiss her, caress her, love her, comfort her, protect her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, listen to her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. How to Impress a Man: show up naked, bring beer.
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Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence.
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I only wanted to have a child, not marry one.
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My wife was dying. I was by her bedside. She said in a tired voice, "Theres something I must confess." "Shhh" I said, "theres nothing to confess. Everythings alright." "No I must die in peace. I had s*x with your brother, your best friend, his best friend and your father!" "I know," I whispered "Thats why i posion you, now close your eyes!"
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has 79.06 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: death, men, wife
He: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way. She: Well, you succeeded.
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Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, time
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer, men, phone, women
Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
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How are men and parking spots alike? The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: men
Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
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has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: men, women