Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They won't stop to ask directions!
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Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
A man in a pub asks for a beer.
The barman says, "Sure, that'll be one dollar."
"One dollar?" exclaims the man.
Reading the menu, he says, "Could I have steak and chips?"
"Certainly," says the barman, "that'll be two dollars."
"Two dollars?" cries the man.
"You're joking. Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The barman says, "Upstairs, with my wife"."
The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The barman says, "The same thing I'm doing to his business."
How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
Men come in three sizes:
Small, medium, and OOoohhh yesss!
Why did the blonde have a sore belly button?
Because there are blonde men too!
God said to Adam, "I’ve got some good news and some bad news.
First the good news.
I have given you a brain and a p***s.
The bad news… I’ve only given you enough blood to work one of them at a time!"
Q: Why did they make glow in the dark condoms?
A: So gay guys can play star wars.
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'
So he gave me a kite.
What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need.
A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.
A woman went shopping.
She walks to checkout counter and then the salesman packs all her groceries: milk, cheese, orange juice, half of bread, bar of soap, toothpaste...
All of a sudden the salesman asks her:
"You're single, aren't you?"
A bit surprised woman smiles and answers:
"That's right, but how did you guessed that?"
"Because you're so ugly."