Joke #6933

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs. A: Ground Beef!
Vote: has 66.21 % from 45 votes. Send joke:
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What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
Vote: has 31.53 % from 66 votes. Send joke:
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What's black, smells and has 17 tits? The bin bags outside the breast cancer ward.
Vote: has 37.27 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
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At the scene of a terrible road accident, a guy is laying sprawled out on the road, seemingly stone dead. The rescue workers are all around him, but can do nothing to resuscitate him. Suddenly, a young woman in a short miniskirt forces her way through the crowd. "Let me at him, I can help him," she says. "What can you do?" ask the rescue people. "We've tried everything to revive him, and it's too late." "I can," says the woman. "Stand back!" And she promptly takes off her panties, and crouches with her crotch over the man's face. Suddenly, the man coughs, splutters, and sits up. "What did you do?" ask the rescue people, amazed. The woman says, "Blood Transfusion."
Vote: has 68.56 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, disgusting, women
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full.
Vote: has 55.25 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
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Little Red Riding Hood walks through the forest and sees a wolf hunched under a tree with its ears erect and its mouth stretched in a big grimace. She says to the wolf, "My, what big ears you have!" The wolf keeps grimacing. She says, "My, what big eyes you have!" The wolf grimaces even wider, baring his teeth. She says, "My, what big teeth you have!" The wolf finally snaps and says, "F**k off! I'm trying to take a dump."
Vote: has 70.02 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, disgusting
Jeremy and Kris walk down the street and see a dog licking himself. Jeremy says, "Man, I wish I could do that!" Kris replies, "I think you'd have to pet him first."
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
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In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."
Vote: has 43.90 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, car, cat, disgusting, time
Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay? A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
Vote: has 40.24 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What's grosser than gross? A: Two vampires fighting over a used tampon.
Vote: has 60.75 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
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One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, "What is that?" "They're smart pills," said the other boy. "Eat them and they'll make you smarter." So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap." "See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, disgusting