How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
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A man went into the drugstore and asked for a deodorant.
"The ball type?" asked the clerk.
"No," said the dumb man. "It's for my underarms."
Two men walked into a restaurant, the first one asks for tea.
The second also asks for tea.
"And make sure the glass is clean," he tells the waiter.
When the waiter returns with the two glasses of tea he asks, "Which one of you asked for the clean glass?"
10 things men don't say
1)Let's watch Lifetime.
2)Sex is overrated.
3)I don't want to go too far on the first date.
4)Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you.
5)Don't we owe your mother a visit?
6)I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down.
7)Dessert goes right to my hips.
8)I hate when I miss Oprah.
9)Does this suit make me look fat?
10)I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.
Vote:
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Dogs are man's best friend.
So which is the dumber sex?
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner.
So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time.
He responded, "Sure.
You carry the suitcases!"
If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders?
A scrotum pole!
What is the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.