How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
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Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a State Policeman sees a car puttering along at 22 miles per hour.
He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"
So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver...
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!"
The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company."
The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room.
About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets.
Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company."
The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave.
When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air."
The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
I am a marvelous housekeeper.
Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
Brrr! My hands are cold.
Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
Jennifer, wanna go to my place?
I am not Jennifer
But I didn't ask about that...
What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.
What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat?
Divorce him.
What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
Any place without a drive-up window.
Why are men like blenders?
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.