How do men sort their laundry? "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes? A: Because they can understand them.
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera? Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Why does a man prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company.
What do men and sperm have in common? They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."
Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. So if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.