Joke #7936

How do men sort their laundry? "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
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has 78.15 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: men

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A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"
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has 68.60 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, men
Chinese and American are in a plane. Suddenly, Chinese puts his shoes off and American is angry. After some time, he goes to buy a coke, but Chinese says that he'll do it. While he's gone, American spits into his shoes. Chinese gets back and American drinks his coke. That repeats a couple of times,and after the flight American admits, "I spitted in your shoes, sorry." Chinese answers, "That's how we do it. We spit in each others shoes, we piss into each others cokes..."
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men
Warning ladies! Never trust a man who calls you "SEXY". This is why. When he removes the letter 'Y' it means you're down for "SEX". After sex, he will remove the letter "S" and start calling you his "EX".
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has 63.57 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, women
A man enters a store and says: "15 litres of wine please." "Did you bring a container for this? " "You're speaking to it."
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has 80.19 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, men, wine
A policeman pulled a car over and told the driver he had won $5,000 dollars in the seatbelt competition. "What are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman. "Well, I guess I'm going to get a drivers license", he answered. "Oh, don't listen to him," said a woman in the passenger seat, "He's a smart aleck when he's drunk." Then the guy in the backseat said, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car." At that moment there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"
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has 82.20 % from 259 votes. More jokes about: cop, drunk, men, money
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
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has 76.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, men, time
A man in a pub asks for a beer. The barman says, "Sure, that'll be one dollar." "One dollar?" exclaims the man. Reading the menu, he says, "Could I have steak and chips?" "Certainly," says the barman, "that'll be two dollars." "Two dollars?" cries the man. "You're joking. Where's the guy who owns this place?" The barman says, "Upstairs, with my wife"." The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" The barman says, "The same thing I'm doing to his business."
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has 84.79 % from 184 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, men, money, wife
How are men like diplomas? You spend lots of time getting one, but once you have it, you don't know what to do with it.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: men
How to Impress a Woman: compliment her, kiss her, caress her, love her, comfort her, protect her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, listen to her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. How to Impress a Man: show up naked, bring beer.
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has 65.42 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: beer, love, men, romantic, women
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: beauty, men, women