Two hunters shot a deer, and were dragging him to the car by the hind leg, which was difficult because the other legs kept snagging in the brush. "Chet, I've got an idea, I think we are doing this wrong. Let's try dragging him by the horns, like we were advised by the ammo-store salesman." "OK," says Ivan. After a while, Ivan says, "I think this is a lot better because his legs fold up and don't get caught in the brush, but we seem to be getting farther from the car."
How can you tell soap operas are fictional? In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed.
Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.
Sex is when a guys communication, enters a girls information, to increase the population, for a younger generation, do you get the information... or do you need a demonstration.
(A) You are not Tom Cruise, (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment, (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you, (D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"
How can you tell if a novel is homosexual? The hero always gets his man in the end.
What's the difference between a man and a messy room? You can straighten up a messy room.
A man walks into a bar and says "Ow!" A second man walks into the same bar. You would think after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it coming.
How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.