Joke #6947

Two hunters shot a deer, and were dragging him to the car by the hind leg, which was difficult because the other legs kept snagging in the brush. "Chet, I've got an idea, I think we are doing this wrong. Let's try dragging him by the horns, like we were advised by the ammo-store salesman." "OK," says Ivan. After a while, Ivan says, "I think this is a lot better because his legs fold up and don't get caught in the brush, but we seem to be getting farther from the car."

Two friends meet each other on the street.”Hello! Where are you coming from?” asked Bill.” Oh, don’t ask me! I’m coming from the cemetery. I just buried my mother-in-law” replied Sid. ”I’m so sorry!” said Bill, “But why is your face scratched all over?”. ”It wasn’t so easy!” said Sid, “She put on a hell of a fight!”

Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Girl: "Do Not Enter!"

Why do men like love at first sight? It saves them a lot of time.

Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.

Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.

What is gross stupidity? 144 men in one room.

How do most men compare to Mel Gibson? They have everything he has, except talent, money, and looks.

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." The women start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thin." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here have it long and thin." Still, this isn't good enough so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thick." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here have it long and thick." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

This could be considered the ideal world for many men: His son on the cover of a box of Wheaties. His mistress in the centerfold of Playboy. A picture of his wife on the milk carton.

What did Barack Obama become after his forty-seventh year? "Forty-eight years old."