Chuck Norris can skydive indoors.
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Chuck Norris knows what pi tastes like.
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Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.
Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
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Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
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Chuck Norris can make a dog bark the alphabet, in spanish, backwards.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
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With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
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God said let there be light.
Chuck Norris said say please.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed.
She is now known as Britney Spears.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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Chuck Norris lit a match and ended the Cold War.
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