Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table
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Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
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In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size.
When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
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Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
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Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris actually died a while back.
Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS: The World orients itself to where he wants to go.
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Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
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When you google up Chuck Norris, he googles you back for revenge.
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Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
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