Reading Chuck Norris Facts is the same as learning history.
To finally solve whether Mona-Lisa is smiling or not, Chuck Norris took a quick look at it. She's crying
Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
“The Day the Earth Stood Still” is based off the one day in Earth’s history when Chuck Norris slept.
Only once in history has Chuck Norris snapped his fingers, scientists call it The Big Bang.
The answer to all the questions on your history test tomorrow is Chuck Norris.
Those who ignore history, are doomed by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.
A somewhat advanced society has figured out how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says: "Here's a pill for English literature." The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature. "What else do you have?" asks the student. "Well I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist. The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects. Then the student asks: "Do you have a pill for math?" The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment," goes back to the storeroom, brings back a whopper of a pill, and plonks it on the counter. "I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student. The pharmacist replies, "Well you know math always was a little hard to swallow."
Jason Bourne is Chuck Norris' daughter...
Chuck Norris terrorizes terrorism.