If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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Chuck Norris has a black belt in every language.
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Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
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Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
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If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you.
If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
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Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one".
Wrong.
Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
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When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
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Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
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Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
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Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter.
He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
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We're hoping Chuck Norris doesn't go bald on top.
It's a bad look with his mullet.
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