If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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Chuck Norris' personal airplane is called Air Force Chuck.
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Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris never actually moves.
He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
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Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive?
A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
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Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
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Chuck Norris doesn't take the cake, the cake sees Chuck Norris and begs to be devoured.
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Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
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Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets;
he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
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The sun is Chuck Norris's pocket flashlight.
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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car he walks.
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