If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
Chuck Norris can shut the door open.
Chuck Norris acting contracts are if the movie producer want Chuck Norris to act in his movie, the producer is roundhouse kicked.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.
Nails wish they were as tough as Chuck Norris.
The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
Chuck Norris beat the light speed by 2 hours and 23 minutes.
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.