Chucks Norris's mirror is scared to look at him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't sweat.
He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
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The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
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Chuck Norris has a website, is called the internet.
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In a fight between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris would win.
No questions.
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Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
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Wherever you go, Chuck Norris will already be there.
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If you use Chuck Norris in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, you automatically win.
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Chuck Norris went up the creek without a paddle... or a canoe.
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Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek."
He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
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