Chucks Norris's mirror is scared to look at him.
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
Chuck Norris can actually describe the taste of purified water.
If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
Mess with Chuck Norris, you get roundhouse kicked.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake was when he thought he made a mistake
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
Chuck Norris can skip a track on a cassette.