Chuck Norris installed his own home security system. It's called "Chuck Norris."
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It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that cow's butt.
You don't invite Chuck Norris.
He invites himself.
In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever.
That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an attitude.
He has a personality you can't handle.
Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris uses flatbed trailers as roller skates.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.