Chuck Norris installed his own home security system. It's called "Chuck Norris."
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Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
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Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.
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Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower.
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Chuck Norris can locate the nowhere.
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Everytime a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked.
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Chuck Norris sank the Titanic on a late afternoon swim.
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Chuck Norris can mute silence.
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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
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Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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