Chuck Norris installed his own home security system. It's called "Chuck Norris."
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When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
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Chuck Norris can keep up with the Kardashians.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Kim Kardashian use to be 8 feet tall until Chuck Norris uppercut both her feet and that is why her ass is so big.
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Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth.
The next day he won the lottery.
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Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
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The smoothie was invented when Chuck Norris needed information from a banana.
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Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
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The actual definition of U.F.O is Chuck Norris's Toy Frisbee.
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Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
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