Chuck Norris installed his own home security system. It's called "Chuck Norris."
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Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
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Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
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Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
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Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.
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Chuck Norris is the meaning of life.
Too bad he's also the meaning of death.
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The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris.
There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
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Chuck can use "save" in real life.
But he doesn't need it.
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Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.
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Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light.
He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
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Chuck Norris can turn diamonds back into coal.
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