Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact?
A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS.
Chuck Norris decides where he is.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
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In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
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Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
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Chuck Norris' favorite game is winning.
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To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
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Chuck Norris can break his opponents serve with an ace.
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Chuck Norris can make same magnet polarities stick together.
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Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices.
His vehicles run on fear.
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