Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact?
A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris CAN leave Hotel California.
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The Holy Grail is in Chuck Norris's living room.
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The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
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Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen.
Twice.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
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Chuck Norris does not submit to homeland security, he IS homeland security.
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Chuck Norris has the right to keep and arm bears.
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When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
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Trick me once, shame on you, trick Chuck Norris... rest in peace.
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Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
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