Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact?
A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
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Remember the Leia scene from The Last Jedi?
That wasn't the force, it was Chuck Norris resurrecting Carrie Fischer.
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There is no backspace button on Chuck Norris' keyboard.
Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
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Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man".
Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man".
Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
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Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
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Chuck Norris can run a full marathon in just 3 miles.
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Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
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A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
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Freds voice is high because Chuck Norris kicked him in the nuts.
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