Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact?
A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris inhales carbon monoxide and exhales oxygen.
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Chuck Norris has nicknames for his feet... Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
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Film makers are smart enough NOT to make a Chuck Norris movie in 3D.
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When Norris hits the road, he destroys it.
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The Grimm Reaper fears the day Chuck Norris comes for him.
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Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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When Chuck Norris say it's hot, people sweat.
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Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
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The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
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