Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact?
A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris won more Olympic medals than the hole world...
Including himself.
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Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
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Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
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The names 'Adam and Eve' were simply coverups.
They were really Chuck and Norris.
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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek."
He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
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Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.
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Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can turn toast back into bread.
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Chuck Norris was bitten by a werewolf.
When full moon came, the werewolf turned into Chuck Norris.
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