Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact?
A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once slapped a man into next week.
The man was missing for four and a half years.
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The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has only played Pacman twice, and beat the game both times.
The ghosts were too afraid to leave their little box to try to stop him.
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The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
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Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.
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Chuck Norris can spit through bulletproof glass.
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No matter how fast you run, Chuck Norris will always walk faster.
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Chuck Norris has found what U2 are looking for.
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Why does Chuck Norris have a beard?
A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?
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Chuck Norris doesn't read books.
He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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