When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
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When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
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A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
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When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris.
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No statement can catch the ChuckNorrisException.
There was no Big Bang.
Chuck Norris arm wrestled himself and the energy produced created the universe.
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When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
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When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up.
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Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?"
Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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