When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
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Time travel is possible.
But you must first get past Chuck Norris...
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Chuck Norris invented the spoon because it's too easy to kill someone with a knife or fork.
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.
That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out.
No one dared to move.
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While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive?
A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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Chuck Norris solved Unsolved Mysteries.
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Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life.
When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
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