Chuck Norris' tears would save lives, if he'd cry.
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
Jedis are now taught to use the "Chuck".
A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
Chuck Norris has only played Pacman twice, and beat the game both times. The ghosts were too afraid to leave their little box to try to stop him.
The name of the anime Soul Eater was actually inspired by one of Chuck Norris' nicknames.
A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet. That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
Chuck Norris can speak Spanish in three different languages.