Chuck Norris' tears would save lives, if he'd cry.
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him.
That man was Stephen Hawking.
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When Chuck Norris visits Europe on vacation, France surrenders.
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Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.
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Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
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You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right?
Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla".
Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
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Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
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Chuck Norris once squeezed an M&M so hard that it turned into a Skittle.
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Chuck Norris once got careless and accidentally locked his drawer key inside his drawer, with a lock that needs the key to lock.
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James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
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