Gravity obeys Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris writes on pencils with paper.
Chuck Norris beat a brick wall at tennis.
Chuck Norris can gargle with honey.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
If Chuck Norris told you to jump off a bridge, would you? Of course you would.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.
Whenever Chuck Norris rolls a 6 sided dice, he always rolls a 7.
Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.