Gravity obeys Chuck Norris.
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They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
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There are no comets.
Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
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Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
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Chuck Norris knows who's buried in Grant's Tomb.
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When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees.
He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
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Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
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The supreme court issued a ban not allowing Chuck Norris to flex his muscles, for fear of public safety.
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