Chuck Norris can light the contents of the Windows recycle bin on fire.
Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.
Some people have alter egos. Chuck Norris has no such thing.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Chuck Norris donated his heart to a hospital... twice.
Chuck Norris' pager is still cool.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
The only reason Godzilla goes back into the ocean is because Chuck Norris is expecting him... for dinner.
Salmon swim upstream because Chuck Norris is downstream.
Chuck Norris made Stevie Wonder flinch.
Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.