Chuck Norris can light the contents of the Windows recycle bin on fire.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris can paint himself into a corner and still get the job done.
Chuck Norris can dunk a basketball using his feet.
Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Chuck Norris can choke you to life.