Chuck Norris can light the contents of the Windows recycle bin on fire.
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A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
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Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.
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On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
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Chuck Norris uses an air bag... in order to protect the inside of his car in case he stops too fast.
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Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.
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Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices.
His vehicles run on fear.
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Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris.
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Obama said, "Yes we can." Chuck Norris says, "I already did.".
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Most leading hand sanitizers say that they can kil 99.99% of all germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100% of WHATEVER HE WANTS.
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Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
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