Even after muting "Walker, Texas Ranger", you can still hear Chuck Norris's victims screaming after getting roundhouse kicked.
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World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order.
Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.
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There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.
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Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest.
Chuck Norris won by 5.
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Chuck Norris's wish isn't your command, Chuck Norris's command is your wish...
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Chuck Norris has a black belt in every language.
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Chuck Norris is cooler than the other side of the pillow.
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Everyone knows the speed of light...
Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.
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Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
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