Even after muting "Walker, Texas Ranger", you can still hear Chuck Norris's victims screaming after getting roundhouse kicked.
The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, he gets jealous.
Chuck Norris' yawn put people in comas.
You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right? Well he's currently making his third attempt.
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Chuck Norris could catch that damn acorn in those ICE AGE movies!
Chuk Norris was only twice angry, and those times are known as WWI and WWII.
Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.