There was a young man from Peru
Who fell asleep in a canoe
He dreamt that Venus
was strokin' his penis
And woke with a handfull of goo
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
This stupid bug is appearing on a blasted line which would blow up the toilet.
Then they go like "Tom tom tom tom" then back to the toilet and stupidly disgusted by a recently married woman and erecting a man in a toilet.
Vote:
Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?
Vote:
A young man and a young woman were soon to be married, but they both had a problem they had never told anyone else about.
The man approached his father one day before the wedding and told him about his problem.
His feet REALLY stunk, even if he washed them constantly, he was worried that this would scare off his new bride, so he needed a solution, fast.
His father pondered the situation and finally told his son to wear socks constantly (even to bed) and always wash his feet whenever he got a chance.
The son thought about this and went along happy.
The same day the young lady approached her mother and told her about her problem.
Her morning breath was horrid.
Her mother reassured her and told her everyone had bad morning breath.
The young woman told her mother that this was not normal morning breath but easily the worst in the world.
The mother thinks about this and comes up with this bright idea.
She tells her daughter to get up earlier than everyone else and don't say a thing, go make breakfast and then brush her teeth while the others are eating.
The young woman thinks and then runs off to get ready for the wedding, happy.
The couple is married and they are happy, him with his perpetual socks and her with her morning silences.
One morning about 5:30 am the young man wakes up to find one sock missing.
He starts rustling around in the bed looking for it, which of course wakes up his wife, who without thinking asks what's wrong.
With a look of shock on his face the young man says, "OH MY GOD! You've swallowed my sock!"
Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet?
A: Winnie the Pooh.
Vote:
What's grosser than gross?
Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue.
What's even grosser than that?
When one of them throws up.
Vote:
3 bums were outside a bar.
The first one went in and asked for a fork.
The second one went in and also asked for a fork.
Then the third one went in and wanted a straw.
At this point, the bartender became curious.
"How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?"
"Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."
Vote:
Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?"
A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
Vote:
Q: What's a good holiday tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Vote:
What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan?
Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
Vote:
How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Vote: