Joke #7330

There was a young man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He dreamt that Venus was strokin' his penis And woke with a handfull of goo

Q: Did you hear about the leper poker game? A: One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.

Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends? A: He plays with Pooh.

Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what." Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready." Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave." Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know." Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you." Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does." Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry." Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my panties are just red." Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going." Her: "I'm really on my period." Him: "Damn! He got shot again..."

A drunk sitting at a bar observes a very snobby woman participating in a wine tasting contest. She was very good at identifying the wine. At the first taste she says: "Cabernet Sauvignon, 1998" and all the people were amazed. At the 2nd try she answers "Cabernet Sauvignon, 1953" and they were once again amazed. Then the drunk pisses in a glass and hands it to her. She tries it and says "Yak, this tastes like piss!" And the drunk says, "Yeah, but what year was I born?"

Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart. So everybody takes a big whiff.

What did Obi Wan say when Luke was constipated? "Use the F-O-R-C-E Luke!"

What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia? A cancelled Czech!

Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets? A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

I've accepted every email offer I've ever received. My penis is now 235 feet long.

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs. A: Ground Beef!