Joke #7594

Chuck Norris was the Best Man at his own wedding.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, wedding

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A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
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Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
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Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
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Chuck Norris can fold airplanes into paper.
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I used to hate weddings, all the old ladies would prod me and say "you'll be next!" They soon stopped that, when I started saying it to them at funerals !
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Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.
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During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the priest with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the priest looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes, I do" then leaned toward the priest and hissed: "I thought we had a deal." The priest put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."
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has 53.75 % from 184 votes. More jokes about: beauty, marriage, money, priest, wedding
"I'll never find the right guy," I heard the young guest at the wedding shower sigh. "Don't give up," urged an older woman. "Every pot has a lid." "Or," a cynical voice behind her offered, "you could just be a skillet."
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