Chuck Norris was the Best Man at his own wedding.
Yo' Mama is so ghetto, her wedding cake was made of cornbread.
Scientists have predicted the world will end in 2012, but that's just a guess when Chusk Norris' patience will run out.
A dentist, an electrician, and a carpenter decide to play a practical joke their best friend on his wedding night. "I'll loosen some joints on his bed so it collapses when he's making love," says the carpenter. "I'll hot wire his mattress so they'll feel immense heat while making love," says the electrician. "Those are good ideas," says the dentist. "But my contribution's going to be a real surprise." The next day the new husband comes to the diner to meet his friends. He says "I congratulate you guys for making the bed heat up and collapse, but I'm gonna kill whichever one of you put novocaine in the massage oil!"
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Priest said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
Chuck Norris can braid a bald head.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look at a wedding as the ending of romance.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
The light at the end of the tunnel is actually Chuck Norris holding a flashlight.
An eclipse is just the suns attempt to hide from Chuck Norris.