Joke #7594

Chuck Norris was the Best Man at his own wedding.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, wedding

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Vote: has 82.08 % from 82 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris
I used to hate weddings, all the old ladies would prod me and say "you'll be next!" They soon stopped that, when I started saying it to them at funerals !
Vote: has 36.53 % from 72 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: funeral, life, wedding
For a weddin' present Ledbetter gave his son Amos two hundred dollars. Two weeks later he asked him, "W'atcha do with the money, son?" "Ah bought me a wristwatch, Pappy!" answered the boy. "Yew dumb ignoramous!" yelled his father. "Yew should 'av bought yourself a rifle!" "A rifle? What fer?" "Suppos'n one day yew cum home and find some guy sleepin' wid yore wife," explained the older redneck. "W'atcha gonna do? Wake him up and ask him what time it is?"
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money, redneck, time, wedding
Chuck Norris plays Scrabble with numbers. And wins.
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris
On the day of her wedding to Prince Edward, Sophie gets dressed and realizes that she forgot her shoes. Panic sets in until her sister loans her another pair of shoes. Unfortunately they are a bit too small and at the end of the night Sophie's feet are in agony. The rest of the Royal Family crowds around the door to the bedroom and they hear grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually, they hear Edward say, "God, that was tight." "There," whispers the Queen to the Duke, "I told you she was a virgin." Then, to their surprise, they hear Edward say, "Right. Now for the other one." Followed by more grunting and, "My God. That was even tighter." "That's my boy," says the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor."
Vote: has 55.72 % from 117 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, god, marriage, wedding
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the Bishop with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the Bishop looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the Bishop and hissed: "I thought we had a deal." The Bishop put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."
Vote: has 32.79 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage, money, wedding
Two elderly people living in Trailer Estates, he was a Widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the same table, across from one another as the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, " Will you marry me?" After about six seconds of ' careful consideration' , she answered "Yes. Yes, I will. " The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?" He couldn't remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?" He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart." Then she continued, "I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me."
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: memory, old people, time, wedding
I've 3 aunts and 4 uncles in any ceremony of wedding they mention me : "oh , Bill you are enough grown up , the next time will be your turn." I also in payoff on funeral days tell them: "Woo you are enough old I hope next time would be your turn!"
Vote: has 81.55 % from 157 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, funeral, time, vulgar, wedding