Joke #7594

Chuck Norris was the Best Man at his own wedding.
Vote:
has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, wedding

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

For a weddin' present Ledbetter gave his son Amos two hundred dollars. Two weeks later he asked him, "W'atcha do with the money, son?" "Ah bought me a wristwatch, Pappy!" answered the boy. "Yew dumb ignoramous!" yelled his father. "Yew should 'av bought yourself a rifle!" "A rifle? What fer?" "Suppos'n one day yew cum home and find some guy sleepin' wid yore wife," explained the older redneck. "W'atcha gonna do? Wake him up and ask him what time it is?"
Vote:
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: money, redneck, time, wedding
If Chuck were in the movie Nightmare On Elm Street then it would be renamed nightmare on Chuck Norris Street, cuz nobody dared to get near him.
Vote:
has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
An old couple celebrates their 50th wedding anniversary in their home. "Just think," the old man says, "we were sitting here at this same breakfast table, naked as jaybirds, 50 years ago." "Well," the old lady snickers, "what do you say, should we get naked?" The two immediately strip to the buff and sit back down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady says slyly, "My breasts burn for you now as they did 50 years ago." "I'm not surprised," replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!"
Vote:
has 80.58 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, couple, life, time, wedding
Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
Vote:
has 75.69 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Priest said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
Vote:
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage, priest, wedding, women
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the Bishop with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the Bishop looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the Bishop and hissed: "I thought we had a deal." The Bishop put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."
Vote:
has 32.79 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: marriage, money, wedding
When you come to a road that says "ONE WAY", that mean Chuck Norris is the other way.
Vote:
has 78.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
Vote:
has 52.77 % from 189 votes. More jokes about: marriage, math, men, wedding, women
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever" "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"
Vote:
has 53.99 % from 185 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, husband, marriage, wedding, wife
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Vote:
has 84.78 % from 679 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris