Chuck Norris doesn't do steroids, steroids do Chuck Norris.
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The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it.
Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
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A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
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Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.
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Chuck Norris can follow you into a revolving door and come out ahead of you.
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Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants.
Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
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Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
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Chuck Norris does not submit to homeland security, he IS homeland security.
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Chuck Norris can locate the nowhere.
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Chuck Norris often walks on Bikini Atoll during tests to get a tan.
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There is no such thing as an endangered species, they are Chuck's likes and dislikes.
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