Chuck Norris doesn't do steroids, steroids do Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
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When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
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Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.
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Scientists believe that a giant meteor killed off the dinosaurs.
This is true, if you can consider Chuck Norris to be a giant meteor.
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Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.
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Q: Why are there prairies?
A: Because Chuck Norris scared the trees away.
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Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy.
"There were no survivors."
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Chuck Norris could actually win on Takeshi's Castle.
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It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured.
It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
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Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack.
His heart is too smart to not attack him.
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