Mr. Smith, the biology instructor at a Highschool, said during class, “Miss Jones, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions.”
Miss Jones gasped, then said, “Mr. Smith, I do not think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this.” With that she sat down red-faced.
Unperturbed, Mr. Smith called on Miss Brown and asked the same question. Miss Brown, replied, “The pupil of the eye, in dim light.”
“Correct,” said Mr. Smith. “And now, Miss Jones, I have three things to say to you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."
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Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
A: One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
There was three boys called Zip, Dick and Piss They were in class and their teacher went out to make a phone call Right then Zip jumped on the table Dick jumped in the teachers chair And Piss was punchin everyone in sight 3 minutes later the teacher back in and said Zip down Dick out and Piss in the corner.
A nun gets on a bus thats empty except for the driver.
She says "I'm going to die soon but I want to have sex before I die. Problem is I must remain a virgin so it has to be to ass. I can't commit adultery, so the man must be single.Can you fulfill my wish?"
"Yes" says the bus driver and fulfills her wish.
Feeling guilty he says "I'm sorry I lied, I'm married with 3 kids."
"Thats ok" replied the nun "I lied too."
"My name is Kevin and Im going to a fancy dress party."
"For love on the first sight, there's a tremendous medicine!"
"What medicine?"
"To get another look...!"
A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriends house and the girlfriend said to her mom, "Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room" and the mom says, "Ok honey, you kids have fun."
When they are up their the mom hears: "Baby baby baby oh!"
The mom walks to the door and ask, "What the hell is going on?"
The girl says, "Mom were just having s*x." and the mom says, "Oh thank god I thought you guys were listening to Justin Bieber."
This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is.
All his professionallism goes right out the window...
He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.
"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?
"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.
He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off.
The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?", she replies, "Yes, checking for cancer."
Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having s*x with her.
He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?"
She replies, "Yes, getting herpies - thats why I am here!"
I like your style
I like your class
but most of all i like your ass.
A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet.
His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off.
Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating.
"How come you are sweating?" he asks.
The parrot replies, "Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?"
