Chuck Norris cut's a knife with butter.
If, by some incredible space-time parodox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to sing "We are the Champions". He has no time for losers. He will rock you.
Chuck Norris has stared Fear in the face... and Fear looked away.
Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
Chuck Norris can straighten a circle.
Chuck Norris can eat the inside of an orange without peeling it.
When the metal detector goes off at the airport, it is just verifying Chuck Norris walked through.
Chuck Norris' Motto is: "The beard is mightier than the sword."
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
Chuck Norris won one million dollars gambling playing Solitaire.