Chuck Norris cut's a knife with butter.
Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
Chuck Norris broke a mirror and got 7 years of good luck.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg was recently hospitalize, because Chuck Norris poked him.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
When a mime sees Chuck Norris, he makes a glass wall and pretends he's dead.
Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
Chuck Norris lives in a Roundhouse... And his favorite drink is punch...
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names.